Sex Addiction

I saw on the morning news that Tiger Woods was going to be released from a clinic that was treating him for Sex Addiction.

Today, Sex - a basic biological function, is an addition.  Which means it is a disease.  We already have  drug addiction and alcoholism classified as diseases.  He didn't need a clinic.  He needed a Jewish Mother. Send him to live with a real Jewish Mother for two weeks.

For two weeks he would be told how dirty he was, how disgusting these women were, how horrible his wife has been treated, how messed up he has made his children, and future generations from his children.  More importantly, how embarrassed he made his Mother!  How she was so ashamed to go to religious services, or the grocery store, or worse, the beauty parlor!

I bet two week with a very talented Jewish mother, and Tiger Woods would have such a complex, he wouldn't be able to get it up for three years!  What addiction?!

I caught a commercial (one of my favorite topics) for a weight loss program.  It starts "I eat when I am lonely.  I eat when I am stressed out".  Guess what?  Eating is another biological function....we eat because we need to do so to survive.  So, although it is not an untruth to say that, everyone eats, and probably everyone has eaten in almost any emotional state you can name.  I eat when I am hungry.  I can't seem to control that.  And yes, we have food addicts.

So I have decided I am a breathing addict.  Yes, I know I should be able to control it, I just haven't been able to stop.  Maybe I can go to counseling or take some time off work to see if I can stop this habit.  I wonder if they have developed a patch for it.

Being "Rich"

Dictionary.com defines"Rich" as "having wealth or great possessions; abundantly supplied with resources, means, or funds; wealthy: a rich man; a rich nation."  If you ask most people if they want to be "Rich"  they will say "Yes!"

I have spent considerable time defining what "Rich" means to me.  I thought this was an important thing to do because once you establish what "Rich" is,  it helps you determine what you are willing to do to get  "Rich"

Here it is:  "Rich" is not holding your breath when they total up your groceries.

Yup, simple isn't it?  I have had money, and I have been really poor.  And the point at which I think I feel good about where I am, is the point that I supply the basic needs of myself and my loved ones.  That's it.  Everything else seems to fall into place when you define it this way. 

I have seen a whole bunch of unhappy people, define what they think is "Rich" by dollars, possessions or status.  As soon as  a person defines what "Rich" is,  it also defines what they are willing to do to get to "Rich".  Since I have set my goal for "Rich" it makes me question how hard I work to keep my job, my time, and my interests to fit the definition.  I am forced to question "Is this really necessary for me to do this in order to be "Rich?"  It has served as a steady rudder for me.

I have always been amazed what others have set up to consider themselves  "Rich."  The saddest thing is, how many are unhappy with their lives until they feel they have reached that level. 
So I guess I am asking you the reader, to ponder what it is that makes you "Rich", your answer may surprise yourself.  Once you clearly define "Rich" by dollars, status, friends, relationships, possessions...then ask yourself how much of what you do actually contributes to that goal.

In the meantime,  according to my gauge, I am "Rich", and very thankful for that!

Levels of Driving Danger

Since this has been a pretty hard winter here on the East Coast, I am sure all of you are aware of the dangers of traveling in adverse weather conditions.  This is not what I am talking about for driving dangers.

Everyday we hit the highways and commute somewhere.  On that trip there are things you see time after time that begin to form an order of danger to you.  My list of was developed after years of  driving the most dangerous route I ever encountered, the trip to drop the kids off at school each day.  I travel highways now daily, but it was the local town roads that seemed the most likely place that I could end up crunching bumpers.

Here were the danger signs I developed.  

 1.  Blond female.  

 2. Blonde female with a spiral permanent.  Since the spiral perms have now gone out of fashion, I have expanded this to teased, or one of those styles where the hair is gathered up in such a way to see how many directions it can point at one time. 
3. Blonde spiked female in a red vehicle. 
4.  The ultimate danger, Blond female with hair in all directions, driving a red car with children, and talking on a cell phone.  

 It had gotten so bad, that I would just sit at the edge of an intersection if I saw a car with all four levels of danger, and wait for them to make the first move.  There is no predictive nature to this type of driver, so it is safer to let them go first.

I was discussing this with a friend, who had a different warning level system worked out.  He rated the dangers as:
1. Short old man with big ears. 
2. Short old man and big ears with a funny hat.   
3. Short old man, big ears, with a funny hat and a huge car in which he can barely see over the dash.   

The other day I encountered a whole new category.  I came up behind a beautiful forest green Camaro.   It wasn’t long before I realized this car was traveling fifteen miles an hour in a thirty-five mile zone.  After closer scrutiny, I discovered a silver haired old man driving it.  My daughter suggested that perhaps they are now camouflaging themselves.  Wow, I guess I will have to go back and revise the danger list.

It depends on what your daily commute is that makes a person decide what the danger criteria was.   It may be SUV drivers, Vans, or anyone that has a cell phone to their head.  

What does your warning level system consist of?

Some aquired knowledge

1.  Toothpaste will remove a kool-aid mustache.

2.  Keep Lestoil around. It is a solvent based cleaner.  I use it in my laundry.  It removes grass stains, and paint!  It works better than spot cleaners on those shirts that get grease spots on them from cooking.  They also take crayon and pencil marks off walls and woodwork.  Warning:  do not use on a surface where oil will leave a stain.

3.  Keep those old toothbrushes.  They should be at every spot that you have other cleaners.  I use them in the laundry to scrub lestoil into stains, and also use the non brush tip to break apart dried paint so the lestoil will work.  They clean any item that has grooves. They get the edges of the faucets when you clean them.

4.  My favorite cleaner is Dawn and Ammonia.  I can clean most every surface of my house with this.  If streaking is a concern, such as windows or appliances use more Ammonia than Dawn.

5.  Many people wash/rinse their dishes before they put them in the dishwasher.  It is a waste of water and time.  I just scrape food particles off, and put it in.  You may discover one or two items that aren't thoroughly cleaned, but  then you are only washing one or two items, not the whole load.

6.  Speaking of Dishwashers...when was the last time you cleaned the drain area of your dishwasher?  Most dishwashers have an assembly at the bottom that comes apart and you can clear out food and dirt debris that gets left behind.  Check your manual if you are unsure.  If you keep this cleaned, you will be amazed at how much nicer your dishes clean!

7.  Are people complaining of itchy skin in winter at your house?  Use a half cup of vinegar in the fabric softener dispenser instead of fabric softener.   If you don't have a fabric softener dispenser on your model, add the vinegar in the rinse cycle.  This dissolves any remaining soap, and besides not having detergents now rubbing again your skin, it makes the clothes softer because there isn't soap residue on them.  I use a dryer sheet in the dryer anyway, to fight static cling.

8.  If something is burnt onto a fry pan, before you even try to clean it.  Put water in the pot enough to cover the burnt on parts, and put it back on the stove until it comes to a boil.  If it is a greasy burned mess, add some dish soap to the water.  Once it comes to a boil, let it cool on the stove.  Your cleaning will be much easier.

9.  Boil Cream of Tarter in a discolored Aluminum pan to remove the stain.

10. If you hang your clothes to dry, hang the whole hem of a shirt over the line by a couple of inches, not clipped at the tails or shoulders.  They will take a bit longer to dry, but that line will stretch out immediately when you put the shirt on, but stretched tails on a T-shirt will stay with you all the time you wear it.

So you are raising a child?

Raising a child has gone the way of cooking.  At the turn of the century, it took at least an average of six hours to prepare a meal in the American household.  Now with time saving microwaves, and prepared meals, it takes less than thirty minutes. 

Now ponder the time investment of raising a child. Assume a child needs 12 hours of sleep a night when very young, and 10 hours in later childhood.  That reduces a day of actual care to a mere 12-14 hours.  Most people work 8 hours a day or more.  But that doesn’t include lunch, or commuting time.  That cuts about 10 hours of the day that the parent is available to be with their child. At best, that leaves 2-4 hours a day you actually get to spend with your child.

At most, four hours is 16% of your day.  How can people raise their children, when they are only spending sixteen percent of a waking time with them? 

Some people even go farther into whittling this time down by scheduling their children into activities, and themselves into meetings of one type or another.  Getting more skills, or serving a social obligation, has a good purpose, or does it? 

I know that you think you need to be building that career, but your career will be much longer than you think.  Current trends now stretch it into your 70’s.  Will a couple of years of refocus on your child really slow you down in a 50-year career?

You and your child get 18 out of your 80 years of life.  After that, you are an activity squeezed into their lives. 

Maybe we need to refocus the American family.  If people earned a living wage, we could go back to a one wage earning family.  The drop out rate in American Schools is now over 30%.  With Mom and Dad both working 12 hour days, at odd shifts...I can see a corollary.  I don't see any improvement soon. 

Unfortunately, the most positive outcome of this current recession will be at least we will have a bit of time to spend with our own children.

Register Independent!

The government is broke. I have spent a great deal of time pondering what I can do to make a change. I think I finally found a possible solution.

Register Independent. Currently, no matter how dedicated and good willed a candidate is, once they get into office they are all being forced to vote party lines, either through coercion, or withdrawal of funds, or bribes of funding. What if the party lines were hard to find?

I don't care what party you are currently registered as, you have to be disappointed in the fact that our government is totally gridlocked. Even if something gets passed it is the reflection of only one party, not a cooperative effort. I am tired of the hate, name calling and inefficiency.

If enough people change to "Independent" as voters, some of us lose something. Here in Pennsylvania we give up the right to vote in the primary, but we will gain much more. Everyone who does it will give up being pigeonholed into a stereotype.

If Independents are such a voting block, the major parties will have to float candidates who will attract the independents in order to win a seat. That means the radical left, or the radical right need not apply, because if a party raises them as a candidate, the independent voters still won't seat them. We might actually have to start talking about the real issues. Candidates will no longer be able to only use their party's talking points to gain votes.

I have seen third party candidates come and fail. We are not structured to handle that in this country effectively. But we are well set to handle a larger block of independents.

Finally, even though you are registered as an independent, it will not stop you from contributing, nor supporting your candidate of choice. It simply means you will stop having to be lumped into a massive cauldron of hate in order to voice your opinion.

I urge you to act and tell your friends to act. It is the only non-violent, non-hateful option I can see for the reasonable electorate to do at this point.

Indicators that companies are dying.

I have spent quite a lot of time as a Temporary worker. The last two experiences have been with companies that have died, or are dying. Previous experiences has shown me clues to companies you want to avoid even trying to work for. There are some things I have noticed that are universal in the experience of watching this as a outsider.

HOW LONG DO PEOPLE STAY THERE?
If you are being interviewed for a permanent job, and they ask are there any questions. Ask how long the average employment with the company is. (Even ask the HR person how long they have been there). This is a good indication of how well a company is being managed. If it is an older company, but the workers only stay there about 2-3 years, it may hint that their respect for their workers, or working conditions are pretty intolerable. People don't want to look for work, I have seen people willing to put up with amazing abuse not to have to step out and look for something better.

DOES THE COMPANY ALWAYS HAVE HELP WANTED ADS?
Even if you are not job hunting, it is advisable to continue to check out the help wanted sites. You will notice a trend of companies locally that seem to be hiring all the time, or even hiring the same positions all the time, it may not be that they are growing, but rather they have a high turnover because their work environment is bad, and people jump ship.

WHAT TYPE OF POSITIONS ARE OPEN IN THE COMPANY?
Another clue to watch for is the job positions that are open in a company. If you see a lot of engineering, marketing and High Level Production people, they are a company that is losing it's brains. You may not be a "brain", but I can guarantee even as a worker drone, life will be pretty miserable if the brains are moving out. The old adage, sh*t rolls downhill applies to the workforce. You can expect unreasonable demands, and deadlines as people come in green to "reform" or "make their mark".

WHEN TO PLAN AN EXIT
Here are some clues that you may need to start polishing your resume.

SHIFTING RESPONSIBILITIES OF OTHER LOCATIONS
If the corporations start shifting responsibilities of other locations around. This is the first sign that they are losing control. It is usually fronted with we are expanding, or there are problems there, etc, but what they will do is to pile as much work as possible to certain locations, and will press people into long work hours, but you will notice there is no time line for ending the overburdening. I have seen people put 80 hour weeks into companies that will end up shutting them down in 3 months.
80 hour weeks are not good for you, nor your company. It means that eventually it will cause your personal life, or your health to fail. It also means that the company has not planned their business model (could it be a brain drain?) and/or they do not care about burdening you. You are only a production machine to them.

PEOPLE WHO YOU RESPECT ARE LEAVING OR BEING FIRED
If you see people who you admire at the workplace become disheartened, or get fired. Chances are things are going to change dramatically soon. If their view on life in general matched yours, chances are you are in trouble also. Make sure you already have started a job search.

KEY VACANCIES DO NOT GET FILLED
My last job, had a chief Finance person retire, and an HR position that still had not been filled. These types of positions are high paying positions that require education and experience skills. The company then burdened the lesser trained/experience person in line with their responsibilities. Usually with the front of "Helping out in a pinch"...but then end up leaving those responsibilities with people and not rewarding them with either a position nor pay increases. If you are that worker that gets caught in that situation, be careful! Your health and happiness is in grave danger! If you can not get a time-line or promise of promotion from management, get the resume out while you still have sanity and health to offer!

THERE ARE MANY MORE NEW CORPORATE FACES SHOWING UP
When companies start shifting people from other locations to your location there is only one good reason. They are being sent there to see what you do, and how you do it so they can take on that location's responsibilities and find better ways of performing it.

THE WORKERS ARE NOT WORKING TOGETHER
There is a very strong fear in America's workers that tomorrow they may not have a job. That is because tomorrow you may not have a job. There, it is out there. I have read numerous articles on how to be the one left standing, but really, no one is left standing when they lock the doors. So the months and months of sabotage and bitterness , overwork, and stress that leads up to the end are useless. When you see it starting, you have two choices: Enter the race and in the end you may have a job, but hate the person you have become to get there and so does everyone else you work with, or polish your resume and be ready to bolt. If you have to compete, at least get an exit strategy activated!

THEY START HIRING TEMPS LIKE ME
Yeah, I am the one they call when they are just trying to get things done when they don't want to invest any more resources into a location. I show up, not for the special project, but rather "to help out". They shift parts of your overburdened responsibilities to a temp, but guess what, even though I am diligent, and dependable...my work is reflected as your work! You also get the burden of training the Temp while still trying to complete your responsibilities.
If I screw up, I lose a temp/ no benefit/ position. There are more around. You on the other hand lose pension, health care, seniority, and your lifestyle. Even though it is a relief to have someone helping, if it a temp, it means the company isn't willing to invest into a long term solution. Get the resume template out!

I know the economy is bad, remember I am a temp! But I also have seen some wonderful people who truly care about their jobs, work themselves sick trying to "help" the company that they have been employed with. They "help" that company right to the day they lock the door. They continue to deny that they would ever be the one to be let go. They make no plans, nor do they set any lines in what they won't do to continue to be employed. If you see these signs, don't throw away what you have, but remember to start an exit plan for yourself (It will make the long days seem better), try to hang on to your personal life as these are the people who will help you when the end comes, and learn to start practicing diplomatic ways to say no to additional work. I am amazed how few people ever exercise the right to refuse new responsibilities, because it will look like you are a slacker. The company is dying, your refusal will not change the corporate decision.